Happy New Year 🎈 Day 464

Welcome to travel ➕explore ➕ play with SalleeJay where I am your host. Hopefully, by now you’ve settled very nicely into 2021 🤡😛🥴.

In all seriousness, I have a really good feeling about this year. To start, I’ll be pushing more content out to you guys. Be sure to connect with me on all social media platforms @SalleeJay.

I also want to be more intentional about my readership and community this year, so feel free to comment, like and DM me! Let’s get to know one another and really foster a sense of community because at the end of the day that’s what this social media thing is all about. 😏

I think I’ll call our community “The Jays”…

Free spirited, life long learners and lovers of life amongst other things. Think of yourself like the rare and majestic jay birds such as a Bluejay, Whisky Jack Jay or my personal favorite the Stellar Jay.

Stellers Jay

So Jays…. 🦅 (I like how that sounds 😌)

One of my new delights of the new year is #TravelTipTuesdays.

Let me know how you guys are enjoying these tips, and please provide any suggestions on tips that you may have that relate to travel or travel exploration.

Be on the lookout every third Thursday of the month for a new blog! I want to make sure that we are connecting at least once a month. 💋

Sign up for my newsletter so you don’t miss a beat.

Also, be on the lookout as I begin to plan to travel for my last birthday in my 30s. If all goes according to plan, I will be headed to Southwest Colorado to enjoy in some of natures divine glory. This will also be an opportunity for me to continue to strategize my blog and business for the new year to make sure that I am providing the best possible experiences and content for my very special Jay’s. I’m excited to begin the planning process that will allow me to connect with more of you all over the world, throughout the world.

I also plan to host a retreat in the fall for four very lucky and amazing women. Women who want to travel ➕ explore ➕ play with SalleeJay in Colorado, while learning from and healing with very talented, thought leaders and facilitators for three day healing. I’m talking about a full three day juice detox, yoga, new experiences and adventures in nature and so much more.

Again, thank you so much for rocking with me for all of 2020. I’m excited to connect with more of you in the new year, and to grow and increase my readership.

So in advance, hello 👋🏾 to all my new Jay’s. Let’s fly high and soar to new heights.

💞Sallee Jay💞

Good Grief... Dealing with GRIEF in COVID

Today we are going to take a wellness journey. A mental check in of sorts. So buckle up and let’s go…

Why do have urgent care and hospitals for broken bones, but not for broken hearts? 💔

It sounds absurd to imagine a doctor looking at a broken leg and saying,

“Time heals all wounds,” or “Give it some time.” or my personal favorite, “You’ll get over it!”

Yet that’s exactly what people say to grievers.

People often treat a broken heart quite differently than they treat a physical ailment. And often we don’t acknowledge the grief associated with a broken heart.

My grief journey during Covid has been rough. To start, a dear friend and mentor of mine passed away in April, her name was Janice Buckner. Janice was 91 years old and lived a full life before entering the hospital in January. Even though we had a size-able age gap between us, she was one of my best friends. We would laugh and have a good time whenever we were together and she was my partner in crime and in Christ. This loss was so extremely hard for me because before COVID, I was able to visit her regularly, at least once a week. “Ma Buckner” as she was affectionately dubbed was my sunshine. And then COVID hit and quarantine measures went in place, I would call her room at the facility where she was staying and there would not be an answer. In the rare instance that I was able to get someone on the phone, I received very limited information and it was almost impossible to actually speak with her. When I did talk to her, she sounded broken, sad and confused, I wish I had one more chance to hold her hand.

Insert the murder of George Floyd‼️😡🤬😳😭

Then when I thought that life could not get any worse, I got a phone call that I would not have ever expected receive in this lifetime. My best friends father reached out to me on Facebook, telling me to give him a call because she was in the hospital and not doing well.

My soul told me at that point that she was gone. I got on my bike and road to one of my favorite places in the city to clear my mind and prepare for the call from her father to say last words. As soon as I arrived, my phone rang and Rachel’s dad immediately put the phone to her ear. Less than a week later one of my best friends in the world was gone forever. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about my friend. I miss her so much.

Don’t even get me started on #Breonna Taylor‼️ As a Black woman in America, my heartaches deeply daily.

After all of this loss and feelings of being broken hearted, I had to find something that would allow me to heal and address my grief. My therapist recommended resources, one of those resources being “The Grief Recovery Handbook,” by John W. James and Russell Friedman. I had been putting off reading the book, now after crying my eyes out and emptying my soul, I found the time. All I can say is, this book is a GAME CHANGER!!!!!

Being that I am in ministry and come from a family devoted to ministry m, I've worked with and been around grief all of my life. What this book helped me to reframe is what I classified as grief. Before reading this book, I only related grief to death and certain negative emotions. After this book, I now understand that grief encompasses the following as well:

• Loss of faith

• Loss of career and financial issues

• Loss of health

• Loss of relationship

• Growing up in an alcoholic or dysfunctional home

As well as so many other thangs‼️

I began to write “completion” letters and open up, let go and release old wounds. Through creating my “loss history graph” I was able to see patterns in my behavior and relationships and began to make changes immediately. I’ve received new revelations and I’m learning to embrace boundaries. Also, I’m learning to forgive myself for my very beautiful and flawed past.

Also communication is so key! That said, people have to be ready to dig deeper and go beyond surface level communication. I’ve had some very difficult conversations during this time and I appreciate the individuals in my life who are committed to continuing to do the work. I’ve had to grow past cutting off others and not speaking because we have a difference of opinion. The real work is in the conversation. I’ve had conversations with people after reading this book that I’d sworn off for a lifetime. Forgiveness as we know is for you, not the other person. I am glad I now have the space that I need to build and foster new relationships because I let go of old pain. Don’t get me wrong, every relationship is not for reconciliation but always worth the conversation.

Along with grief, we must learn to be more gracious during times of loss. Tomorrow is a new day to start all over again. Be gentle with yourself. Check on the people you love and care about and be true with your word. Let’s help heal one another’s broken-hearts.

I hold space for you all during this time. If you need me, I’m always a call, text, email or FaceTime away. 😘

We’re all on this life journey together. And it’s clear after this election more people need to heal and grieve the things of old. Life is a continuum, always moving forward. Let go of grief and embrace love, because you are worth it!

Be well!